But Bennett's self-hatred doesn't stop with age-old unrequited love/desire. Hector is forced to retire after fondling a boy on his bike. Posner throws himself repeatedly at Dakin and is actually appreciative when the straight boy agrees to a long hug (and a surreptitious ass grab) as the gay boy's reward for selling out his identity and morals in order to get into Cambridge. And after Irwin helps the boys get into Oxford and Cambridge, Dakin thanks him by offering to let him suck his cock (the cum of a strapping young straight man - the ultimate reward for any queer!).

Before Irwin can receive his desired oral reward, however, Hector crashes his motorbike while Irwin rides piggy-back. Having now affirmed their pathetic queerness, all three must now be punished, of course. The accident is even blamed on Hector's gayness - apparently, he is so accustomed to molesting while driving that he can't successfully steer two-handed (e.g. he is a failure at being straight). Hector dies, Irwin survives as a parapalegic, and Posner takes it all so much to heart that he becomes a friendless recluse. Luckily, he is able to spend his days collecting articles, chronicling the success of his straight colleagues who become magistrates, enterpreneurs, and a journalist - Dakin himself becomes a wildly successful tax attorney who loves the mountains of money he makes.

No need to read into subtext here: the (self-)hate is all text. Being gay is a series of humiliating experiences, peppered with the rare hope of pity sex and approval from straight men, until encountering the inevitable fates available to faggots: tragic death, neutered disability, or lonely insanity.

Think I might be over-reacting? See the play for yourself. Better yet, check out the reviews and advertising. Not once are the issues of gay identity broached and never is the play identified as a gay play although it's queer-hating themes are central. Just as killed, crippled, and hysterical representations of women pre-feminism were never questioned, The History Boys' representations of gay men are not worth mentioning because this is simply what gay people are. Chillingly, the chicken shit "mainstream" gay media is also silent about this self-hate (one can only hope because they don't want to attack "one of their own"). Even GLAAD whose About Glaad page asserts that "Words & Images Matter" doesn't have a single thing about the play on their site.

Apparently, The History Boys is meant to be "a plea for Bennett's belief in the superiority of randomness over disciplined design in history and narrative" (Alan Bennett Speaks About, Of All Things, Himself, The New York Times), yet those who learn for learning's sake (Hector and Posner) are punished with death and insanity, while those who successfully exploit history to their advantage (all the straight Oxfordians and Cantabrigians) are rewarded with occupational and material success. And, clearly, this is where Bennett's allegiances lie. For he has sold out his own history for critical and material success, not only appeasing but whole-heartedly embracing a straight world's view of weak, pitiable homosexuals who fail to achieve happy existences.

If I ever meet you in public, Mr. Bennett, rest assured that it's not the pitiable sensation of a straight man's cock ramming down my throat that I'll want. It's the satisfying crunch of your bigoted face crumpling under my righteous fist.