Friday, March 16. 2007Queerer and Queerer...
So last week I was trying to find the Shirley Manson Calvin Klein ad from back in the '90's (please don't ask - I'm just totally obsessed with Garbage and sometimes the obsession takes over my brain), and I was reminded of model/actress/mechanic Jenny Shimizu. How freakin' hot is she? Now on the Kinsey Scale I'm about a 5 (predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual), if not a 5.5. I'm not one of those people who was ever confused, I've never had sex with a woman, and I have never experienced a flicker of eroticism toward the fairer sex. But I would really like Jenny Shimizu to fuck me. No, I don't want to fuck her. I want her to peg me. (You don't know what pegging is? What kind of queer are you? Click here to find out, and then thank Dan Savage for existing.) But wait a minute...? What does that mean?
Holy crap - does anyone have Ted Haggard's phone number? Or Matt Sanchez'? I've got to get away from this gay lifestyle of crystal smoking, hustler poking, and soul-polluting porn shooting. Not that I'm a drug user, have ever paid for sex, or have ever shot porn... but that's not the point! The point is I've got to distance myself from this horrible gay lifestyle, even though all I ever do with it is love my boyfriend, struggle with issues of marriage equality, write queer-positive plays, essays, and blog posts, and harbor crushes on Juan Soler, J. R. Valentin, and Anderson Cooper. I've got to run out and get some god so I can slap an "ex-" on my gay, because I'm really not queer at all. I'm just a straight bottom that wants to get fucked in the ass by a tattooed, Harley-driving lesbian model wearing a strap-on. Nope. Not queer at all. Via play rey play. Trackbacks
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Ouuuu. Thank you so much. She's delicious. And I don't have to compromise my queerness for wanting her so badly.
le rawr rawr!
and i'm not normally into butch either; but i'd still totally be pegged by her. or vice-versa.
Ooh, I had such a crush on her, and I hadn't thought about her for ages. I especially love that tattoo. "Strap-On Tools," indeed.
Thanks for the reminder.
Haha you are so funny!
Try working with her, it's even worse! She's a sweetheart! |
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Shimizu... Shle-mah-zu... Hasenfeffer Incorporated.
Maybe I'm not actually queer... Maybe I'm a straight bottom, and I've just been confused all this time... Maybe as a child I just had this undeniable ass-hunger, and as a sheltered farm boy in the middle of Michigan I didn't think I had any options except to find some dick to satiate it. If only I had known about pegging then, maybe I wouldn't have grown to eroticize cock and men and their hands and their hairy chests and...
