A fellow traveler who had also gone to this year's World Social Forum said to me, "If you can get one good thing out of each session, it'll be worth it." And what do you know? Despite my general dissatisfaction, here's my one good thing:

Why don't all queers work to make marriage less special?

As you may know, I'm of about ten minds when it comes to the current, single-minded crusade for marriage equality and civil unions. On the one hand, I -- like most LBGTQ 'n' Q folks -- realize that denial of rights to one group that are so easily granted to another is about as unjust and discriminatory as injustice and institutionalized hatred can get. On the other hand, the fight for marriage equality seems to have relegated every other fight on the queer agenda to the backburner, and with trans- rights, queer youth and suicide prevention, reproductive/adoptive rights, HIV/AIDS education and prevention, racism (among queers and from outside the community), the re-surfacing of self-destructive behaviors (drug abuse, alcoholism, and unsafe sex practices), religious fundamentalism, rape, domestic violence, and good ol' fashion bigotry in mainstream media, our workplaces, and on the street -- with all these issues sharing one backburner while marriage equality bubbles over front and center with a brew that not many of us are sure we want to sample, there seems to be very little being done for the diverse community we have.

Now, look: I am not one of those weirdos who is actually against marriage equality because I have intimacy issues (which is not to say that I don't have some intimacy issues -- we all do). My partner and I will very likely get married if meaningful, national marriage equality is achieved. But we'll be doing it largely for health, income tax, and inheiritance rights; not for love or to insure ideas of honor and fidelity that don't suit us (we're non-monogamous), but to knowingly gain entry into a privileged group. So where does that leave all of our single friends? Or our friends who have not found and have no interest in finding "the one"? Or our friends who have found not only the one, but the two or three or four?

Of course, we all want marriage, even those of us who don't want to be married and who will get shafted by the institution if we do. It just looks so very pretty and is kept so pretty by the state for no real contemporary reason except maintaining the status quo -- a status quo that hasn't been so good to the gays, by the way.

So what if the U.S. adopted universal health care (you still haven't seen SiCKO yet? What's wrong with you?)? Then a crapload of marriage's prettiness would be out the door. What if queers fought for tax reform that recognized the needs of other family arrangements: the elderly, single mothers, siblings raising children, or five queers in a house sharing expenses? What if immigration laws were more sensible and less paranoid, xenophobic, and downright racist? What if parental/adoptive rights, primary caregivers, and the relationships between or among significant others could be determined by the parties involved and not the state?

It's time to alter the altar -- not just to accomodate same sex relationships, but to promote justice for everyone and not just for hetero-patriarchal love birds. Queers need to be out there and actively political in movements that reframe the debate around marriage and aren't just about our sex lives. The issues that would dismantle the power of marraige uplift so many communities that need the boost as much as we do. Check out Beyond Marriage for more info, and don't forget that the 2008 election is closer than you think. If you can't find a good candidate willing to directly help the queers, let them know the myriad other ways they can help everyone.