Saturday, September 1. 2007And Big Mouth Said, "Let Them be Straight..."
Let 'em. "Why?" you ask. Because they are. Once again we find ourselves in the midst of another gay freakshow where the scandalous misdeeds of a dishonest, promiscuous, sexually out of control faggot, who can't keep his dick in his pants (or at least pointed at a urinal solely for purposes of waste elimination) is being shoved into the public eye in order to sell papers. The problem with this characterization? Oh, yeah, he's not a fag. As Craig stated after thanking everyone "for coming out" (Fastlad's preposition of the year): "I am not gay. I never have been gay." And once again, I say let him be not gay. Them. All of them. Because when I think of LBGTQ 'n' Q people, of pansies, of faggots, of fudgepackers, rugmunchers, poofs, dykes, and homos I think of the out, proud, smart, sexy, and fun-loving bunch I call my friends and neighbors. That's gay to me - not an ugly, self-hating white guy who lies to his family, constituents, country, and Self. So if LC wants to hit it on the DL, dawg, then why argue with him? A gay person could never do what he's done. Who could do it? A straight person. A person so straight that he should be writing posts for Big Straight Blog. So straight he should be the standard bearer for assholes so into maintaining a bigoted, hate-fueled social order that he would turn against himself. So straight that he could live a life of lies that no real gay person ever could. I mean, if he'd just identified as gay 40 years ago (or earlier or later), the life he's leading now wouldn't have been possible. He would be a strong, proud gay dude, not a weak, lying straight fucktard. Perhaps you think I 'm just playing semantics or being disingenuous. I mean, I've openly stated that I hate the queer freak parade and that I have no sympathy for closeted people. But after a few too many sex and gender classes in undergrad, I find myself agreeing with Craig, Foucault, and numerous other historians, philosophers, and Republicans: homosexuality may be a biological inevitability, but queerness is a matter of self-identification. I wasn't foolish enough to start identifying as straight when I discovered I wanted Jenny Shimizu to peg me, why should Craig identify as gay just because he likes sucking rock hard anonymous cocks in transportation hubs, following an arcane, foot-shuffling, toe-tapping dance?That's the problem with the Big Straight Hell these Big Straights believe in so adamantly. You can decide that only one life path and lifestyle is correct and acceptable, you can institutionalize and protect it's norms, but then you have to live with it. Because say what you want about who's gay or straight or "gay" or "straight" but it won't stop boys from fucking boys; girls from fucking girls; masters from keeping sex slaves; 50-year-olds from wanting 15-year-olds; 15-year-olds from wanting 50-year-olds; pigs from wearing chains, collars, spikes, and cuffs; vamps from wearing heels, fishnets, strap-ons, and garters; chubs from getting chased; bugchasers from getting bred; partiers from playing; or girls who are boys from liking boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls who do girls like they're boys. All it will do is promote a hell of a lot of lying, hurt, pain, and cruelty. Why should we - the Big Queer Community - want so badly to own the by-product of the Big Straight World? Let them keep their hell with their Craigs and Mark Foleys and Ted Haggards and Clay Aikens and whoever the hell else. I mean, I'll even give them Jim McGreevey and Lance Bass until those two idiots make some substantial contribution to the gay community they claim to be a part of now, instead of just milking it for their own marketing and ego trips. Larry Craig is straight. More power (hatred, deception, and hell) to him. Trackbacks
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Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, et al.
