Friday, August 19. 2005Sexual Preference or Sexual Racism It doesn't take a private investigator to uncover explicit racism in the queer community, just go to a online chat room or read some personal ads. According to Sexual Racism Sux statements like No fats, no fems, no Asians. Not interested in arrogant, effeminate guys, asians or guys with attitude. Seeking other similar good-looking masculine guys, no fems, no asians please. Not into blacks or latins are sexually racist statements and should be tolerated no more so than an employment ad stating something like blacks need not applyThe Sexual Racism Sux website spends a good bit of time asking queers to use nicer, more affirmative language such as: "More comfortable with other black guys" rather than "No whites please" "Really prefer guys with smooth, pale skin" rather than "Not into hairy guys or GBMs, no offence".
Unfortunatley this approach just asks reacists to candy-coat their racism in an effort to protect someone's self esteem. Perhaps we'd all be better off if we confronted the bigger issue and made a stronger argument against sexual racism. At the end of the day is it enough to just affirm a preference for one skin color, nationality, size, level of masculinity, or religion over another? Don't we all have to ask ourselves the hard question as to why we might feel comfortable summarily discounting every single person of a particular skin tone? Do you really think that refusing every person, even those you have never seen or imagined, just because they are yellow, brown, tan black or white is a preference not racism? Don't we limit ourselves by excluding people rather than exploring our opportunity for love, compassion, friendship, not to mention steamy hot sexregardless of culture or color? The next time you find yourself thinking "I'm just not attracted to "fill in race/nationality/religion of your non-preference" ask yourself why? Forget about offending anyone else but consider if you are being fair to yourself. Are you giving yourself the chance to truly experience the power of human love? Is preference innate or is it learned? Have you ever had a thing for a certain type of person then watched it change over the years based on experience dating someone with a certain personality or look? Trackbacks
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It's not racist to have a racial preference in sexual partners any more than it's "sexist" to prefer men over women. So I'm white and dig white guys and black guys, but not Asian men. That doesn't make me racist. That just means I am human and, as in all areas of life (food, music, literature), I prefer some things more than others.
We have to make a difference between, what we like, what we want and «racism». I like chubby white men that have skin so pale that i can see trough. I must be a racist then coz i'm a white boy. That is what i find atractive, what gives me a boner. If I'm a white man who will fuck only asians, does that make me a racist? My friends, blacks and arabs have a big crush on redheaded white boys, i guess they are not racist coz' they like the Other. Taste, preferences is not politics. Either we are all racist because we have sexual preferences or as i think most of us are, have NO racist ideas in our lives. But we just like certain types. That is it.
I guess the big question here then is sexuality a preference or an orientation? If it's the later than there is a big difference in sexual orientation and racial preference, thus it might be a false analogy.
Most queers I know will tell you at some point they questioned the origin of their sexual orientation and many people, from scientists to lay person, still research and wonder the origins of sexual oriientation. Maybe in world where race is such a hot button topic we forget to wonder about the roots of our "racial preferences" as the previous MH refers to it. Why would a person "prefer" one race over another? What would cause someone to totally discount an entire race of people and not find one individual in an entire race of people sexually attractive? If we're honest with ourselves and start to ask those difficult quesitons we might be surprised at our deep seated attitudes towards race. I do think there is a difference between sexual orientation and "racial preference" and I do think that the later is a form of racism, an unconscious form of racism but racism nonetheless.
This is a great discussion so I wanted to chime in!
Dictionary.com offers 2 definitions for "racism" that can make either point stated above. The first is "a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others." There is an assumption here that racism only happens if you believe your race is superior to others. So, if I'm white but I happen to only date asians, I would not fall into that definition. The second definition is the one we usually default to, "hatred or intolerance of another race or other races." I would not compare racial preference with sexual orientation. But I do think racial preference goes along with any preferences we may have that lie at the superficial level - I guess that not wanting to be with butch women or with women with underarm hair, would mean that I am discriminating against them. "Hello, my name is Alice, and I am racist." |
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