Big Mouth is going to go out on a limb and say something that nobody wants to hear right now, something that I'm sure even Big Queer readers (and contributors) will find extremely unpopular: I don't think visiting prostitutes and having bareback anal sex makes Eliot Spitzer unable to govern the state of New York.

I get the part where I'm supposed to be all upset that he broke a law -- and I'm totally upset about that, and I'm totally aware of how it is particularly hypocritical that Mr. Clean/Eliot Ness broke one. I GET IT. But as I have written on this blog over and over and over again, we Americans allow sex panic to prevent us from making intelligent decisions about the laws we pass, media representation, people in office, and HIV/AIDS.

Here are some statements I can make with complete and total confidence:

• Many political leaders, good and bad, in the history of the world have had sex with prostitutes.
• Many political leaders, good and bad, in the history of the world have had unsafe sex.
• Many political leaders, good and bad, in the history of the world have had unsafe sex with prostitutes.

But you know what else? What they did behind closed doors did very little (possibly nothing) to harm their constituents.

Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, et al.

Let 'em. "Why?" you ask. Because they are.

Once again we find ourselves in the midst of another gay freakshow where the scandalous misdeeds of a dishonest, promiscuous, sexually out of control faggot, who can't keep his dick in his pants (or at least pointed at a urinal solely for purposes of waste elimination) is being shoved into the public eye in order to sell papers. The problem with this characterization?

Oh, yeah, he's not a fag.

As Craig stated after thanking everyone "for coming out" (Fastlad's preposition of the year): "I am not gay. I never have been gay." And once again, I say let him be not gay. Them. All of them. Because when I think of LBGTQ 'n' Q people, of pansies, of faggots, of fudgepackers, rugmunchers, poofs, dykes, and homos I think of the out, proud, smart, sexy, and fun-loving bunch I call my friends and neighbors. That's gay to me - not an ugly, self-hating white guy who lies to his family, constituents, country, and Self.

So if LC wants to hit it on the DL, dawg, then why argue with him? A gay person could never do what he's done. Who could do it? A straight person. A person so straight that he should be writing posts for Big Straight Blog. So straight he should be the standard bearer for assholes so into maintaining a bigoted, hate-fueled social order that he would turn against himself. So straight that he could live a life of lies that no real gay person ever could. I mean, if he'd just identified as gay 40 years ago (or earlier or later), the life he's leading now wouldn't have been possible. He would be a strong, proud gay dude, not a weak, lying straight fucktard.